I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
