...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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