Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
