12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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