Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The uberlube is also flammable
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
