He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
