East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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