I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
