She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
