Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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