I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
