Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
