....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
