so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
