Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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