Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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