saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
