I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
