is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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