WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
