Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
