I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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