I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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