He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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