yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
