Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
