The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
