I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
