Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
