please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
