He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
