and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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