ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
