so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
