lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
