I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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