just tell him i said nine months
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
