Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
