He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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