guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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