is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
