you turned your livingroom into a bong?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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