i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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