in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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