I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
