There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Your penis caused this!
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