Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
