I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
