I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
