So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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