I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
